Distressed About Gambling? Get Help Now
When is it a good time to consider cutting your losses? If gambling is eating away at your gut, ruining your relationships, causing all manner of trouble in your life, maybe the time is right. If you’re deeply distressed about gambling, get help now.
When Things Just Don’t Add Up
Compulsive gamblers – and you know who you are – just can’t seem to get enough. It doesn’t matter if the chips are stacked high or you’re down to your last one, there’s always the chance that this time will be when your lucky streak either continues or gets back on track.
Over the months and years of such deluded thinking, all you really have left is a mountain of debt, shredded self-esteem, and no real relationships to speak of.
In other words, this is the time when things just don’t add up. This is the time when you should be thinking about changing your lifestyle and giving gambling the boot.
But you can’t do it alone. You’ve probably tried – and failed – miserably in the past.
Who Can You Talk To?
If you’re like most compulsive gamblers, you’ve run the gamut of excuses and denial. You’ve perfected your lies, the stories about where the money went, what you’ve been doing all these hours, why you can’t sleep at night, even why you’re no longer interested in sex. You’ve told yourself you can handle it, that you really don’t have a problem, that this is the last time, and so on.
After so much of this pile of nonsense, you probably don’t have anyone you feel comfortable talking with about the state of your affairs. That is to say, your life, not your romantic involvements – although that’s probably suffering as well.
Where can you turn for good advice on what to do? You could start by seeing your doctor, but that’s probably an admission you don’t want to make. Besides, your doctor may say there’s nothing physically wrong with you and encourage you to see a psychitriast, your priest or rabbi, or someone else.
But if you have known your physician for a long time and/or have a good relationship with him or her, you can confide that you have a problem with gambling and need help to overcome it. No self-respecting doctor will turn away from such a plea for help. If the doctor doesn’t have a referral or recommendation to a mental health provider for you, ask him or her to find one and let you know.
It’s at least a good place to start.
But there are other avenues for you to explore.
Gamblers Anonymous and Other 12-Step Groups
When you get to the point where you want to do something different with your life – other than gambling it away – there are groups that can help. These are the 12-step groups such as Gamblers Anonymous, Bettors Anonymous, and Gam-Anon (for family members of compulsive gamblers).
These are self-help groups that are available to support people with gambling problems. Many have affiliate groups to help the family members of compulsive gamblers. Every person at these meetings has experienced a problem or problems as a result of compulsive gambling and is there to both recover and to help others with gambling addiction.
These self-help groups, known as fellowships, are based on the 12-step principles of Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. They all hold regular meetings in the community and Gamblers Anonymous (GA) groups are located in every state of the U.S., as well as many foreign countries. Note that Bettors Anonymous only has meetings in certain cities in Massachusetts, New York, Florida and in Winnipeg and Selkirk in Manitoba, Canada. There may also be some GA meetings online and telesessions for those who need a meeting but can’t physically attend for one reason or another. While this is not the norm, due to the popularity of the Internet and the fact that other 12-step groups offer online and telesessions, this may be a growing option.
There’s no charge to join a group, no monthly fee required, no dues or any mandatory payment. Of course, contributions are accepted.
You also don’t need to make a reservation, call ahead prior to attending, and you are always welcome. How easy is that? Actually, you have nothing to lose by checking out a few GA or BA meetings in your area. Go to a few meetings and get a feel for how the members interact, the kind of support and encouragement they freely give to other group attendees, and especially newcomers.
Check out Gamblers Anonymous (http://gamblersanonymous.org/) or call their national hotline at 1-888-GA-HELPS (1-888-424-3577) to find out where meetings are held in your area. The Gamblers Anonymous website has this to say: “Our intention is to highlight that gambling for certain individuals is an illness called ‘compulsive gambling.’ Gamblers Anonymous provides the message that there is an alternative to the destruction of compulsive gambling and this alternative is the Gamblers Anonymous program.”
Check out Bettors Anonymous (http://bettorsanonymous.org/). Their motto is: “If you want to gamble, that’s your business. If you want to stop gambling, that’s ours!” Founded in 1990 in Stoneham, Massachusetts, the groups are now expanding in the U.S. and Canada.
First Thing to Do if You Want to Stop Gambling
Your mind is probably whirling with all kinds of thoughts. On the one hand, you may have the distinct realization that your life is going downhill fast and you feel powerless to stop the self-destruction brought about by your gambling compulsion. On the other, you may now believe that enough is enough and want to do something, anything to get out of this self-
imposed mess that’s become an addiction.
According to Bettors Anonymous, the first thing you, the compulsive gambler, need to do is accept the fact that you’re in the grip of a powerful and progressive illness, and admit that you have a desire to overcome it. As the Bettors Anonymous site states (and other 12-step program sites as well): “Our experience has shown that the Bettors Anonymous program will always work for any person who has a desire to stop gambling. However, it will never work for the person who will not face squarely the facts about this illness.”
So, the very first thing to do is stop and accept that you’re a compulsive gambler, and admit that you want help to overcome your addiction.
Beyond 12-Step Groups
Getting involved in a 12-step group such as Gamblers Anonymous is an excellent starting point on your path to recovery from compulsive gambling. For some, however, more may be required in order to successfully beat your addiction.
That something is treatment.
Yes, treatment is available for compulsive gamblers. In essense, rehab for compulsive gambling, problem gambling, or gambling addiction is similar to treatment for any other type of addiction – minus the detox period. With gambling, you’re not required to purge your body of toxins like you have to do before you go in for alcohol or drug addiction. But you do have
to commit to a program where you abstain from all gambling.
Since the compulsion is so strong in individuals who have been gambling compulsively for years, residential treatment to overcome gambling addiction offers the best chance for success. Note the operative words, “best chance for success.” Just as there’s no guarantee that an alcoholic or drug addict will remain clean and sober and have uninterrupted long-term recovery, just because you go in for treatment for gambling addiction doesn’t mean you’ll never be tempted or never have a relapse.
But you’re much more likely to be able to live a life without being a slave to gambling addiction if you do go in for treatment.
And that’s the kind of odds where you really can win.
Not Sure How Bad Your Problem Is?
Maybe you’re still under the illusion that you don’t really have a gambling problem. There are some questions that you can ask yourself – but answer honestly. They are adapted from Gamblers Anonymous 20 questions.
- Do you ever lose time from work or school due to gambling?
- Is your home life ever unhappy due to your gambling?
- How about your reputation? Is it affected by your gambling?
- Do you ever feel remorse after you’ve been gambling?
- Do you ever gamble in order to come up with the money to pay your bills or to solve financial difficulties?
- Have you experienced a decrease in your ambition or efficiency as a result of your gambling?
- After you lose at gambling, do you feel you have to return as soon as possible to win back what you’ve lost?
- After you win, do you feel the compelling urge to keep going and win even more?
- Do you often gamble until you have no more money – anywhere? In other words, do you often gamble until you lose your last dollar?
- Did you ever borrow in order to finance your gambling?
- Have you sold things in order to have the money to continue gambling?
- Do you find yourself feeling reluctant to part with your “gambling money” to take care of normal expenses?
- Has your gambling caused you to be careless about the welfare of your family members and you?
- Do you often, or have you ever, gambled longer than you intended to?
- How about gambling to escape worry, boredom, loneliness, or trouble? Have you ever done that?
- Has the thought of committing an illegal act to finance your gambling ever been something that you’ve considered? Have you ever actually committed an illegal act to get the funds to keep gambling?
- Do you have difficulty sleeping because of your gambling?
- Do you experience an overwhelming urge to gamble whenever you’re involved in arguments, when you’re disappointed or frustrated?
- Do you ever think that gambling is the best way to celebrate any good fortune?
- Has your gambling ever caused you to consider suicide or have you ever attempted suicide?
What do your answers tally? According to Gamblers Anonymous, most compulsive gamblers will answer yes to at least seven of these questions. If that applies to you, it’s a good likelihood that you are a compulsive gambler – and could benefit from treatment in addition to participation in 12-step groups such as Gamblers Anonymous.
Types of Treatment for Compulsive Gambling
The Mayo Clinic lists three types of treatment available for compulsive gambling: psychotherapy, medication, and 12-step groups. We would only differ with them on the last one, since 12-step groups are not treatment. No one in a 12-step group is “treating” fellow members, nor is your 12-step sponsor responsible for treating you. For that, you need professional help.
Psychotherapy, according to the Mayo Clinic, specifically a form of psychotherapy known as cognitive behavioral therapy (or CBT), may be particularly beneficial for those suffering from compulsive gambling. In essence, CBT focuses on identifying unhealthy, negative, and irrational beliefs and replacing them with those that are positive and healthy. CBT also works in group therapy, where participants gain by being able to tap into feedback, support, and advice from others who are also trying to overcome issues with compulsive gambling.
Medications may also provide assistance to the individual trying to overcome gambling addiction. Since emotional issues often go hand-in-hand with compulsive gambling, antidepressants and mood stabilizers may help calm the emotional state, while not necessarily doing anything about the gambling problem. There are medications that have proven effective in treating substance abuse that may prove helpful in combatting compulsive gambling. These are called narcotic antagonists.
But to get help via psychotherapy or medications, you need to see a professional.
Where to Find Treatment for Compulsive Gambling
The National Council on Problem Gambling (NCPG) (http://www.ncpgambling.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=3326) offers a listing of residential and inpatient treatment facilities for problem or compulsive gambling. Note that this is not a complete listing and the facilities listed have paid an annual fee to be listed. The inclusion in the listing doesn’t imply that the NCPG endorses or recommends a facility.
The NCPG website also has a link to a directory of certified gambling counselors (http://www.ncpgambling.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=3733) which may prove useful in finding a counselor in your area who specializes in treating gambling addiction and compulsive gambling.
There is also help by state (http://www.ncpgambling.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=3311), a starting point for compulsive gamblers who want to overcome their addiction. In California (http://www.ncpgambling.org/i4a/pages/index.cfm?pageid=3497), for example, the listing includes information on the California Council on Problem Gambling, with phone and fax numbers, address, website URL and email address.
Check out the online workbook, “Your First Step to Change,” (http://s96539219.onlinehome.us/toolkits/FirstStepSite/main.htm), from the Division on Addictions, Massachusetts Council on Compulsive Gambling. As the introduction suggests, “This guide will help you understand gambling, figure out if you need to change, and decide how to deal with the actual process of change.”
Of course, you can also call the National Problem Gambling Helpline at 1-800-522-4700 to find help in your state for counseling, treatment, self-help and support groups.
Get Help Now
There’s no time like the present to find out about and get help for your problem gambling. Chances are – and that’s not a bet you want to gamble on – you’re already heavily affected by your compulsive gambling. More than likely you also have problems with some form of substance abuse such as drinking too much, smoking marijuana, doing cocaine or other narcotic, even abusing prescription drugs.
The sooner you start getting help, the sooner you’ll be on your way to overcoming your gambling compulsion. What better way to start off the New Year than creating a new life for yourself, one that’s free of gambling? Give yourself the best gift you can: an opportunity to begin fresh. Get some help for your compulsive gambling now.
