Treatment Centers

Domestic abuse of adult women can result in trauma that continues for years afterward as PTSD, depression, and anxiety, and it may affect the whole family. Jill (not her real name) suffered PTSD from her marriage of ten years. Much of it was from emotional abuse as well as physical abuse. Her husband frequently screamed and swore at her, called her names, and put her down for everything from her cooking skills to her parenting to perceived faults in her birth family. Finally he resorted to physical abuse, bruising her, and eventually fracturing her arm in the event that led to their divorce. It took years for her to admit to anyone that he also sometimes forced himself on her when she was in a deep sleep, exhausted from nursing their younger child.

After their separation however, the PTSD got noticeably worse, in large part due to the court mediation system. The judge mandated that she attend ten sessions with her husband prior to the divorce hearing. In the small enclosed space, where she sat less than two feet from her husband in a windowless room with the mediator, she often felt a sense of near-panic, becoming breathless, feeling faint, and shaking. The mediator would persist in asking them both questions, which she had to try to answer. Her husband, however, frequently responded sarcastically, and with derogatory statements about her while rolling his eyes with contempt. She was not allowed to leave the court-ordered mediation sessions.

At night she often woke screaming from nightmares of her husband chasing her with a knife or setting the house on fire or screaming at her, even though he had never tried to do either of the first two things. She would wake so completely drenched in sweat that she would have to change not only her pajamas but also the sheets on the bed. During the daytime she was extremely jumpy and startled easily. Her body responded with a pounding heart and alarm to any loud sudden noise or to someone coming up behind her unexpectedly. She was no longer able to watch most movies that had violence or suspense in them, and could barely stand to hear any swear words because of the stressful memories associated with her husband screaming swear words at her.

It took two and a half years for the symptoms to abate after the mediation sessions and divorce hearing were over. During that time, while she was a single mother and continuing to raise their children alone, the whole family was affected. The children also experienced their own anxieties through being aware of their mother’s PTSD, and because both of them had also witnessed some of the abuse. The younger one, at only three years of age, had witnessed his father shoving his mother on the occasion when he fractured her arm, while the little boy was hiding in a closet looking out through partly open doors. The older child was sometimes angry and moody, while the younger child became painfully shy at school. Their mother noted that it would have helped to have some consistent help both with childcare and with counseling at this time, but she could not afford it.

Kind-hearted friends did help, and living in a neighborhood with friendly families also helped a great deal. Eventually, the children also recovered, although their mother feels that their personalities were greatly shaped by the challenges they experienced at such early ages.

Members of the board of a women’s shelter that offers services to women (and sometimes men), ranging from a safe shelter to counseling to job training, offered perspectives on trauma and how to help women heal from the trauma of abuse. “It can take years to get over it,” one board member commented. “We offer counseling, a safe space to live for up to a month, and sometimes we do referrals to mental health care if we think extra services are needed.” Another board member said that it was extremely important for people suffering from PTSD and other trauma-related effects to be in a safe, organized, consistent space where life could be predictable day to day. She told a story of a woman who came into the shelter with “a wall of words”. “She couldn’t stop talking, and even the women’s advocate on duty wasn’t sure what to do. Finally I said to her, ‘You seem hungry. Can I make you a sandwich?’ and it was amazing – she calmed right down. People need to know that they have access to a safe environment, food, and a roof over their heads.”

The outreach groups that this women’s service program offers, including two groups of women who meet regularly to share stories and encourage each other, have been tremendously successful. In time the shelter hopes to offer longer-term transitional programs that include independent family living spaces for up to six months, as well as job training and educational opportunities. But the critical first piece must be in place for women to take advantage of these extended opportunities. As with other forms of trauma, women who have experienced domestic abuse need first to be able to talk about it with sympathetic others who validate their experiences. They need help recognizing the effects of trauma on their lives in the present, and a consistent assurance of safety, in order to be able to move forward in the future.

Author Catherine Knott, Ph.D., teaches Anthropology and Sociology for the University of Alaska on the Kenai Peninsula. She has a Ph.D. in Anthropology, Natural Resources, and Education from Cornell University and a B.A. from Yale University.